Much like the revelation that Oz was all smoke and mirrors, photojournalists finally uncovered the 'smoking gun' that emphatically pointed to the obvious: Gatsby, celebrated writer and philanthropist, is a Gaylord. Stunned fans around the globe responded with a universal sentiment: why the charade? It was painfully obvious to over twenty thousand viewers when Gatsby arrived at the Tony awards with his man-servant, Claude "hot bod" Jean-Dodde. Another not-so-subtle clue was his apparent affinity for Argentinian boys- narrowly escaping prosecution in South America for breaking several local ordinances that listed "diddling" as a serious transgression.
No, in the end, it was Gatsby's flair for the dramatic that prompted the careless revelation of unpublished photographs from the early seventies to resurface. The pictures depict a young Gatsby (on the 'bottom', mustachioed) being tenderly held in the arms of what many believe to be his first and longest openly homosexual relationship: Gerard "let's go enlist" McFaggio. This scandalous photograph, taken at the reclusive writer's Greek villa in 1973, clearly shows the torment and sadness that was to swirl around the prolific author's life until 2005- the year that he closed the Daily Buckman and ultimately took his own life.
The hotel room where they found his body was bare; a single, scribbled note crumpled near the prone figure was all that was left. A haunting, tender passage:
"Tell Old Bug I'm sorry for all of the heartache and unfulfilled dreams, Mon Cherie Pu Pu. I hope that we can be together again in whatever life awaits us on the other side."
Beautiful, terrible and misunderstood- a fitting epitaph for a super-gay poet. The world mourns, even as the stock sinks to an all-time low.